National language

Often you will hear people telling you that Bahasa Malaysia brings you no where, except Malaysia. It might be true, but think about it again, does not language has more to do than this?

For me, being fluent in my own national language might not bring me to else where but BM is portraying my identity when I'm out of the country or speak to foreigners. It is part of my identity as a Malaysian.

I took pride on my BM, although I have to admit that the fluency now is not as good as when I was in school.

I remember once I overheard an announcer from a Chinese radio station interviewing a foreign singer, and taught him the wrong BM. What a shame as a Malaysian.

The point here is that, it does not matter whether BM is widely used globally or not, but for sure when a foreigner ask about our national language, BM will have a vital role to play.

Having said that BM is important doesn't mean that we should neglect English. In fact, I think being a multiracial country, Malaysian should be multilingual too – with BM in the list.

When the government decided to switch back teaching medium from English to BM for Science and Mathematics in schools last year, like most concern Malaysians, I was upset and worried for our young generation.

Many argued both subjects should indeed be taught in English to meet the global demand, and others were saying that the country did not have good resources for the cause, hence, BM should be used.

For me, both arguments are right, but what is certain is that our children will not master any of these two languages if the government keeps on changing the medium used.

Both English and BM, for me are equally important. Of cause, if you are a Chinese like me, Mandarin should not be neglected too.

I was sent to national school since Year One, and BM has always been the medium in all core subjects, except English subject.

I remember my mother used to tell me that if I did not get an A for my BM, then I should be ashamed on myself. And of cause I did not get A all the times through out my 11 years in school, but I will make sure it remained not lower than B.

Although BM has always been my main language, but I did not forget two other important languages - English and Mandarin. As the result, today I'm a Malaysian who speaks three main languages – English, Mandarin and of cause BM.

Mastered in BM also brought me extra pocket money during my college years. I took up part time job teaching BM to students from Chinese schools.

And to my surprise, some Year Five and Six students were still confused on the usage of simple grammar rules in BM. For instance, many of my former students could not dif ferentiate when to use “me-” “mem-”, “meng-”, “be-”, “ber- ” and other “imbuhan” (affix).

The problem for this situation is that many of our young children were told or taught that BM is not a lingua-franca and will not help them in the future.

Hence, our young kids never bother to take BM seriously. For them, as long as they pass the subject in school, that is more than enough.

This kind of bad mentality should not be instill in our kids, BM is part of our identity as a Malaysian.

Take a look at our neighbour country, Thailand. Thai language is not widely used in the world too, but Thais took pride in their national language.

While improving our English, Malaysians should not forget to at least speak decent BM.
It does not matter if BM is one of the lingua-franca or not. As Malaysians, we should see it as part of our identity.

Compliment from a reader..

I usually don't write during office hours, but today is the exception...

I received a call from a reader earlier, complimented me for my article. This was the first time tho. I've never received any email or call complimenting me on my writing. The feeling was really good.

The reader was calling not only to compliment me, but to ask how to contact the world’s oldest Mount Everest climber, Min Bahadur Sherchan, as he was interested to climb the mountain next year. Even his main purpose of calling was not to praise my article, but still I'm happy ^^

Attached is the link to my article that published in the newspaper on last Sunday..

http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/25ever/Article/

Guinness World Records: The oldest man scaled Mount Everest at the age 77

It was an amazing Friday night for me..

Well, I know it is April's Fool Day, but hey..I did meet the World's oldest man who climbed the World's tallest mountain, and he even earned himself into Guinness World's Records.

Mr Min Bahadur Sherchen, a Nepalese conquered Mount Everest when he was 77 years old. He is 80 this year.

I earned an opportunity to meet him tonight (well, at first I was a little upset when my editor asked me to go for the assignment, which was at 8pm - I was on morning shift!!). I was supposed to interview him before a dinner organised by Nepalese Embassy here. Mr Bahadur is on his world tour to promote Nepal, as this year is the Nepal Tourism Year. He is the Nepal Tourism Board's ambassador. But then, I was glad that I went. It was amazing..come on, not everyone gets the chance to meet people who has a world record. And what's more, Mr Bahadur is a real gentleman.

Mr Bahadur told me that he was a former army (well, trust me he did has the army look). He looks fierce, quiet and cool. But he can really talk, as in..non-stop...This actually makes him looked cute. He can't communicate in English, so I have to depend on interpreter (can you believe it, the Nepalese Ambassador to Malaysia was the interpreter..hahaha..). And I'm sure this ambassador missed out a lots when he interpreted, because when Mr Bahadur spoke, it was really long....but anyway, I did enjoy listening to him, even I did't understand a word.

Mr Bahadur, is a real man, I think. He has a strong determination that I couldn't see in others, well at least not among my friends. He told me the reason he decided to climb the mountain, was because "World's oldest man to scaled Mount Everest" was the only title owned by non-Nepalese. Others like, the first to reach the mountain, the most nationals that climb the mountain etc etc were all owned by Nepalese. Well, you can see that he is very patriotic, right? Of cause, he was a soldier...^^

Not only that, can you imagine to climb Everest, which is tough for strong young men, and to climb it at 77, WOW..how many actually dare??? and guess what, Mr Bahadur is actually planning to climb the mountain again next year, and he is going to be 81!!!! Gosh, I respect him so so much...He is such a hero. Well, he might not be as smart as any astronaut or scientist or doctor etc, but he did has the strong determination and positive thinking.

The meeting was really an encouragement for me. I love my job even more now. Well, meeting Mr Bahadur was such a wonderful thing, it feels even better after I met so many Malaysian politicians and ministers (well, you know what I mean). He is really the man..!!

I wish you all the best when you climb Mount Everest again next year, Mr Bahadur..^^ Cheers for you!!

Is good to look back

It was a boring working day today. I was supposed to monitor some websites..anyway, nothing happened..so I spent most of the time browsing through some other sites,..Until I didnt know what else should I do, I've decided to clean my email's inbax...That was went I came across some old emails, funny joke, funny videos, old friends etc..this really made up my boring day... here is something that I find it worth sharing...good day ^^

###

**I was looking for an empty space to park my car at Bangsar when suddenly there's a knock on the glass.....

"Encik ah..tanya sikit ah..itu Chimpeng mana ah..?" *

"Apa?" *

"Chimpeng, Chimpeng...saya sudah tanya itu guard ah.. dia chiakaap sili ala salu Chimpeng..." *

"Sorrylah Apek. Saya tak tau woh...Apa tempat itu Chimpeng?" *

"Aiyah...itu Chimpeng balu punya..Saya mau pigi angkat lui la..." *

"Tarak tau la boss. Itu kedai ka apa?Along ka?" *

"Chimpeng bukan kedai ma..lu itu pun tak tau ah..? itu Chimpeng macam itu maypeng, palicpeng, lalechbepeng...itu balu punya Peng.." *

Adui.. what the ???? .. Only to find out, he's actually looking for CIMB BANK !!!!!!!!!!!

####

PS: for non-Malaysian, im sorry, you might not get the joke...n_n

Nomination day - Merlimau By-election

Photographers and journalists are waiting for the Election Commission to announce the candidates for the Merlimau by-election

While waiting, I was able to grab some time off to pose in front a camera

Opposition party, PAS supporters marching in PAS' candidate, Yuhaizad Abdullah

Can't believe it, this was only my second blog from Merlimau by-election...@@'' I was kind of busy after my first posting on Tuesday.

The pro-government political party, Barisan Nasional (BN) had announced its candidate for the 15th by-election in Merlimau on Wednesday (Feb 23). The candidate chosen was Roslan Ahmad, a 44-year-old local, while the opposition party, PAS announced its candidate, Yuhaizad Abdullah on Thursday. I was stationed to follow the BN's candidate throughout the campaigning.

As the road to the nomination centre will be closed at 6:30 am this morning (we were told so), our team had to wake up at about 5am to avoid the jam and roadblock. We left the hotel at around 5:45am and it took us only 20 minutes to the nomination centre (usually it will take us about 30 minutes from our hotel to Merlimau town).

After our breakfast in Merlimau town, we walked to the nomination centre, which is only about 500 meters from the food court. Shortly after we arrived, we were told by a reporter from another media that PAS's candidate together with his leaders and supporters were marching to the centre. I was able to snapped few photos and will post it here once I get back KL.

After about 3 hours of registration etc etc, the Election Commission officially announced that only two candidates from BN and PAS will be contesting for the Merlimau constituency seat.

After my team finished the story, we left Merlimau at about 2pm. Two of my seniors and I stopped at a food stall at the roadside and tried some Coconut shake. Well, it was really nice to have that at this sunny and hot day.

When we reached the hotel about 2:20pm, I was busy getting my laundry done (well, I was out of clothes @@''). While waiting for my laundry, I grabbed this time to contribute little for this blog. I would probably get a nap after I done my laundry. My seniors and I were planning to go for shopping at Mahkota Parade afterward..hehheh...

Have to collect my laundry now ^^

First day in Malacca for Merlimau By-election

This was my very first outstation job after I joined NST as their journalist. I'm going to cover for the Merlimau by-election which will be held on March 6. Just a little bit background on this town, one of the towns in Jasin's district, Malacca. Merlimau is a town located in between Bandar Melaka (Malacca, about two hours drive from Malaysia's capital city, Kuala Lumpur) and Bandar Muar (Johor, South Peninsular Malaysia). The Merlimau state assembly seat became vacant after its incumbent Datuk Mohamad Hidhir Abu Hassan, 54, from Barisan Nasional (political party, also current Malaysia's government) died of heart attack on Jan 20.

It was my first day here, and the hotel that we were staying -- well, not too bad (but it is not what I had expected). We reached here around 1:30pm local time, and after settle down our stuffs in the apartment, we went out for lunch at a local food and got back for a 2-hour break before heading to the town, which is about 30 minutes from Malacca Town, where our hotel located.

We left our hotel for Merlimau at about 5pm. We were just surveying the surrounding areas and looked for the our operation room there. We were also have to find the parties' operation room so that we could keep updating with them on the latest updates on the election. I've decided to rent a bike there so that I could move easily there.

Bangkok Trip Jan 2011

It had been three years since I travelled alone to South Korea. I completed my degree and get myself a job in a local English newspaper. This means I can now get my backpack ready and my feet are going to step to new land.
Since I'm a fresh grad, and obviously budget and time will be my main concerns to travel. Hence, I planned to travel to oversea twice a year, and South East Asia will be first to be conquered.
And so, I kicked start with Thailand.
My friend and I went for a short trip to Bangkok last Jan 12. It was supposed to be a solo trip, but then I decided to invite this friend of mine to join because I've only travelled alone to South Korea and not any other country. South Korea is probably one of the safest country in the world, while Thailand....well, you tell me ^^
So, we packed our stuffs and boarded on Jan 12 for our 5-day trip. Our flight which was scheduled to depart at 2115 was delayed. And so, we reached Suvarnabhumi Airport late. The trip was not easy at the beginning, as the hotel that we booked who was supposed to pick us up at the airport was not there. Since we didn't expect this (as I confirmed with the hotel the previous night before we departed on our arrival) we were kind of like "huh, what to do now..???" We arrived BKK around 2330 Thailand time. Best part was, both of us only carried notes, no coin at all for public phone. so, we tried to get some change from the information counter. The lady on duty was so kind that she gave us enough to make local call (since our note was too big to be changed). Anyway, cut the story short, we got the coins but the public phone did not work. OK, I guess we were too dumb that we don't even know how to use a foreign public phone. So, no choice I have to roam my mobile phone...Finally, when we got hold of the hotel, they said "We are sorry. I thought you all are not coming. So, we didn't send people to pick you up. Can you take taxi??" A big LOL. One of the reasons the hotel was chosen was their airport pick-up service. I knew that we are going to arrive late, so I did not want to risk on our safety, and so airport pick-up is a must when I look for hotel. When we reached the hotel, everything started to be fine. Since both of us were hungry and tired, we decided to to get instant noodle at the nearby 24-hour mart. After the first Tom Yum instant noodles, we had our rest..
Before we departed, we were told that Bangkok is just like Kuala Lumpur, nothing much to see. But it is a shopping paradise. So, our itinerary was like - first day, sight seeing (Standing Buddha etc), and another two days for shopping. Since we were new there, things that could not be avoided happened - cheated by Tuk-Tuk and lost....Even though we wasted so much on Tuk-tuk, we were able to visit some significant places in Bangkok such as the 32-meter (100-foot) tall standing Buddha of Wat Indrawiharn and the Golden Mount. On the first day also, we were told by the locals that there are two different types of vehicles in Bangkok - private owned and government owned. Those government owned vehicles came with a yellow colour plate number and private, white colour. Government owned taxi and tuk-tuk offered a cheaper fares compared to the private owned ones. And so, if next time you are in Thailand make sure you get a yellow-colour plate number tuk-tuk or taxi which offered cheaper fares.
After wasted so much money and time on the first day, we decided to used only the sky-train, BTS. Since the second and third day are shopping day, we did nothing else except for shopping. We went to the famous Platinum Fashion Mall (low to middle prices) and Weekend Chaktuchak for teh shopping journey. Trust me even we spent two whole days in these two places, but we think that it was not enough...So, for ladies out there who love shopping make sure you go to these two destinations.
Due to our budget constraint (we over-spent on our handbags and clothes @@''), we did not have the chance to try on nice foods. We tried only street foods, but we enjoyed it so much. Oh, yeah..for fruits lovers, make sure you try the fresh juices that are available almost everywhere in Bangkok.
As this was not a perfect trip (I missed so many things here-the foods, the interesting museums etc), I promised I will go back alone without my friend, so that I will not shop that much and will spare more times in museums and sight-seeing.

Am I not convincing?

**Note: This post was written yesterday, Jan 9, 2011...

Well, hate to admit that, but yeah, I'm actually not a convincing person. Something really bad happened at work today, that I could not hold my tears in newsroom.

I went to an assignment in the afternoon, and came back with a front page story. after checking to a local news wire (BERNAMA), my OC1 (chief operator - reporters are supposed to report to this person after they came back from their assignment. OC is the daily big boss. we might not have the same OC everyday) called me up.

She told me that whatever I written in my story was not mentioned in the BERNAMA's story. (F*** her, I bet she did not know what is exclusive). And being a really "good" reporter, I explained to her that the BERNAMA's reporter, in fact many reporters were not aware of the issue and decided not to write about it (most of them were blurred when the reporter from another Malay media who broke the issue last Monday - Jan 3, asked about the issue). And so, she was convinced and I got back to my place. Not even 10 minutes, this lady called me up again and told me "you know what,your story is not complete. Go and get a copy of the story from BH (BH is our sister paper in Malay language - initially, the reporter from BH was the one broke the issue)". I was like, "WHAT!!!???? Are you trying to tell me that I'm writing lies in my story and you don't trust your own reporter?????" Well, again as a very obedient reporter, I went up to another floor and get the story from the reporter. And now, the whole BH knows that Im alousy reporter, reason being - my boss was asking me to get my own story from another media...yeah great...

Best part is, when the boss read the story, she told me..."you see, the other media has added in the background, and I didnt. you cant give this story to be a front page". and I was like, F*** you, how am I supposed to know that this is going to be a front page story babe if you didnt tell me??? also, if you just need a background of it -- well, no background for this story actually, it was a new system which is still under discussion....

New Hairstyle for 2011

"If it is not now, then it will be never"

Almost two months since I last posted something here. I've finally completed my thesis paper and now, I'm a full time reporter. With this new identity, I guess I'm now going into a new chapter in my life. A new chapter means, I have to re-organise my life. I always struggle when my life turn into a new chapter - I tend to waste a lot of time trying to figure what should I do because things that I usually up with were done. I think it should be fair to say that we should have a goal - achievable goal, not exactly dream but something you should achieve in a year or two in our life.

Still remember three years back when I just completed my Diploma, I was working so hard in a magazine company so that I could save enough for my Degree. Well, even I spent all the money that I saved and went to Seoul, but God was so great that I earned myself a scholarship to further my studies after I came back. When I was completing my degree, my goal was to become a journalist in the company that I'm working with now. When the company finally took me in as their reporter even I was not officially graduated and in the midst of completing my thesis, my short-term goal was to become a full-time, college-free, thesis-free reporter. And now that I have achieved that, I'm trying to figure out what is next or what should this new chapter be..

It was almost three weeks since I've closed my previous chapter of life. Meaning to say, I was living without anything in mind except working for the past three weeks. It was a good rest for my mind tho. I did, however trying to figure out what should I do besides working (since I'm that kind of person who always multi-task - part-time+working). And so, I decided to look for some part-time job or freelance or taking up language courses. However, these few weeks, News Desk seems to be really busy, and it did remind me that part-time, freelance or night courses might not be a good option for me. And so, what should I do, and what should I expect in this chapter of my life?

Yesterday, I met a freelancer at one assignment. She writes for magazines and some newsletter for corporate organisations. Before that, she used to worked with newspaper company, PR firms and a full time traveler. She shared with me her life working with newspaper company and how she left everything and went to round the world for about 10 months. I was so impressed for sure, but then I thought.."Hey, I can do better than that..." While this round the world idea still singing in my mind, today I found out another interesting thing at my assignment. I went to an education fair, and this Korea University representative told me that I could apply for their full scholarship in one of their Master programmes. The Graduate School's Dean, Mr Kim recommended Master in Korean Language and Culture Education to me, since I've told him that I would like to learn about different culture and language to enhance my career. I thought, it might be a good idea.

Even though I don't have any intention to leave my job now, but well, I need a goal so that I will not stuck in the same News Desk for the rest of my life, just like most of my seniors there. Even I would prefer to continue my studies in UK, but well, get to learn another language will definitely help me in the future. Who knows, I might be the BBC correspondent in Seoul..Going out of Malaysia might be a good platform for me to earn myself an opportunity to work with international media. And so, I should now decide this as my goal for the next two years, so that I will not stuck in the same desk and be a common reporter, If it is not now, then it will be never...

World's No 1 Badminton Player

I was really tired today, but I don't want to miss out the excited feeling I am having now..

I was covering two events today for our Prime Minister's wife, Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor--both were outdoor..God knows how hot and humid it was today in Kuala Lumpur. Sweat non-stop and I started to fee dizzy..But at the second event which was the open house for national athletes - former and present athletes, I met one of the most popular badminton player in the world, Datuk Lee Chong Wei. Well, Malaysia claimed that he is now World's No 1..after he defeated Lin Dan from China in recent Commonwealth Games, he is even more popular.

I was never care about athletes but today I was just having this feeling, "wow, Lee Chong Wei is standing beside me". The feeling was good, but to add on that, the process before I was standing beside him was funny..

Other sport reporters from other media [they seem to be very close with Chong Wei] forced me to admit that I'm his big fan..Reason being was--I told them jokingly that we should not address him as 'Chong Wei', but instead we should call him 'Datuk', the title granted to him when he won in previous Olympic Games. They said I love him so much that I don't allow others to mis-address him...a big LOL on that...That's how they started to tease me and they told Chong Wei that I am his big fan after the press conference with him - Well, I'm not in the sport desk, so I was chasing the PM's wife on another side. When I finished my work on another end, the sport reporters just dragged, ok not to use this word, they asked me to take a photo with Chong Wei since I am his big fan. They said I should not miss this opportunity....another big LOL on this...One can imagine how awkward the situation was, when I don't really want to take pic with him, not that I don't want but just not that desperate [gosh, Chong Wei must be thinking that I'm really in love with him..another LOL for this @@'']..at the end we did take picture together..how embarrassing.... and to add on this, he is really a nice and humble man [well, I really don't know him that well, but first impression, yes he is humble].

So, now, I think he is really one of the people we should respect, Chong Wei did make our country proud, didn't he? It was so silly of me that never appreciate sportsmen from my own country.

So, yeah, I respect you now, Chong Wei..Thank you for your contributions..^^

Love, is what we need

Is another day off for me. I suppose to finish part of my thesis that I planned to do days ago, but I didn't. Well, I did finish small part of the one that I planned. Anyway, I supposed to feel guilt for my undone work. But, I didn't. Probably because I knew that I'm able to finish the whole thesis in time,or perhaps because I finally understood something that I've been searching for since I became a journalist few months back.

When I first joined the news desk, everything seems interesting to me, but at the same time it find it really difficult to adopt to the journalism world. People there aren't really friendly like most of the people thought they would be. The job, task and assignments are fun and interesting, I do enjoy it very much. On the other hand, walking in the office makes me distress. I'm afraid I might step over something that I should not. For example, some reporters do have their own bit like environment or health or politic. I never know who told them that they are the specialist in the field they claimed they are good in. But the unwritten rule is, if you are writing on these certain areas, it is advisable to let your seniors know that you are working on their "specialist topic". Also, all the bosses seem to group themselves up. The moment you step in the office, you have to clearly aware who is your boss that day.

I started to feel panicked when I don't really seem to be given opportunity to perform. I guess probably because I'm not really good yet. So, I started to find my own story. Searching for own stories is not something easy. You have to be careful you do not cross others' borders and searching for something that interest you is also another tough task. When hearing other colleagues telling me how one should love the environment, how to take care of your own body etc etc, I started to feel that "gosh, I'm not interested at all".

Often we hear people saying, "hey, save the environment, the earth is for your kids", well, it is true. But how many people out there doing it because they realise that it is their responsibility and not following the trend? That's why I do not really pay attention when some companies are organising big "save the earth campaign" and at the same time printed out their press statement - mind you, the press statement is single-page printed. Anyway, this is not something I want to talk about today.

Today, suddenly I felt that I found something that speak direct into my heart. I've been searching for the area that I'm interested in all this while. Not health, not really politic, well, environment..not really. I'm actually interested in human's relationship. I started to think that if people keep saying that go green for the kids today, how about the way we treat other people? Why do we need to think about the future which is so far away when we don't even care about the people sitting next beside us? I suddenly thought of what David Tao always says, Love is what we need now! Well, it is pretty true. Forget about politic, environment and other things if we do not have what human need the most "L.O.V.E".

I might offend many people when I say forget about this and that, well, politic and environment are equally important, but personally I think that people nowadays are lack of love and passion in life. Many people, well, maybe they might not realise, when they are giving out something, they are expecting the return. Need not to talk about others, I personally are like this. So, I wonder, is life now a business? I don't know.

Well, for a better tomorrow, let's us start loving people around us without asking or hoping for any returns. Love others without any expectation, this is my petition today, how about you out there?

Searching my purpose of life again

My life turned in black and white long ago, I don't know when. I used to think that I have a colourful life with all the part time jobs, my dreams, my life principles, my friends, families, everything in my life...Everything seems to be colourful. I even forgot how my smile used to enlighten other people's life. So pathetic..My life just turned upside down, ruined by my own ego and pride..I seriously need to get back my life in order...

I have my dream job, not many friends as last time, but I do have sincere friends, lovely family...and oh, I need to stand still on my own principles, yeah my principles used to be charming @@'' (well, at least I think so, hehe).

I need to live life fullness..without any regard...and yeah, I need to start searching for my purpose of life now, now, now ...NOW!!!!!

And to start of, I need to face my inner self and so I should loudly say what is in my heart now...." I love David Tao and Gong Yoo so much!!!!!! " hehehehe

I should enjoy being single, right??

Was a bit moody for the past few days. Yesterday, a charming guy just enlightened my day..Funny enough, I was like a little girl giggling around and keeps telling one of my best friend how cute this charming guy is. Suddenly, I just realised, yeah, this is how I should be. I'm a young lady that should enjoy this kind of feeling. I almost forget when was the last time i acted this way. I just could not recalled.

My previous love life is kinda pathetic. I just do not know how to show my love to the one that I loved, and I feel sorry for those who loved me, but they are not the one I'm looking for. I'm just feeling so sorry..

I deserve a choice, don't I? and I should enjoy my single life, don't I?

So, am I in the right industry???

It has been almost three months working in this newspaper company. The past three months, I kept asking the same question "Am I supposed to be a journalist?" There were many difficulties (well, probably it is not for some people) in the desk.

Firstly, obviously is my language barrier. I'm not a native English speaker, I don't speak English that much in my daily live. I don't have a strong foundation in English language, ok, probably I should blame the Malaysian government for this. My generation, especially students from Hulu (urban) areas like me. All my peers, no matter what type of school they are from, Chinese school, Malay schools or Indian school do not master any language. Take me for example, I'm a Chinese from Malay school. I speak Malay, but not like the Malay; I speak Mandarin and Cantonese, but people always correct my sentence; I speak English (some might think I speak ok compared to other people at my age), but in fact, my English is all up side down - bad grammar, vocabulary....

Working really hard to solve my language barrier, I have to go through other things - relationship with my colleagues....

Despite so many working experiences, I found myself so struggle in handling relationship. People are being so selfish, especially in this industry..I don't know, maybe I'm just not as good as others. Juniors are working so hard to get closer with the bosses, bosses are having favouritism and seniors just don't give any shit to new people like me.

I felt that I just do not have the opportunity, but then my sister told me opportunities sometime can be created by your own. No story, go and look for one. To be honest, I'm pretty agreed with her point. But then again, it is just so demotivated when you realise that the bosses do not really want to give me a room to perform. Ok, probably this is a bit unclear, but I just can feel it - "the bosses don't really like me".

The co-workers and language barriers make me really doubt about my decision to be here. I sometimes will think that probably I'm not really meant to be here, journalism is not really what I should do. But sometimes I will think that, this is the place I should be, my curiosity, positive and never let go attitude make a good journalist, I think. I will definitely hate myself if I were to let go the job at this point, but at the same time I hate myself being so useless and not performing well in my job. So, what am I supposed to do????

Just Another Day in Starbucks

Walking in here, memories flashed back-hard work, satisfaction on work, learning about coffee, meeting other baristas, meeting strangers.....

Looking back, I realised how far I am now and how much I gained for the past few years after I left my hometown...Moving in this so called big-city of Malaysia, I survived through lots of mistakes, survived through lots of tears, lots of laughter...and now, after so many had been done, I am a grown up little girl in this big city, but still the same, non-stop chasing for my dream..Leaving my life as a student and part time worker, I am moving towards another stage in my life - being a real reporter, digging for news and writes....

Cheerssss~~~~

Just Another Raining Day

Is another raining day...I think I really like rains, like it will wash off all your dirt, your sadness, your negativity, your problems and everything everything that will turn you into a bad apple..

These few weeks were really bored one. I supposed to do research for my thesis paper, but I was too lazy that I wasted two weeks :( this is not good...

I started to realize that I really enjoy being busy, working non stop, assignments non stop...a lot, a lot of things to be completed. At least all these tasks will keep me occupied..Moments of doing nothing really make me feels lonely. Not sure whether I should sit or stand or watch movie or listening music. Just gives me shit of the day..

Listening jazz accompanied by the rains outside my corridor, the moment of emptiness just suddenly disappeared. I really enjoyed moment like this, everything slows down..I guess the rains, perhaps was sent by the Lord above to freshen up human being like me...

Tik Tak tik Tak....

It is him with HIV, not stranger

I always heard about HIV and AIDS..I even involved with the charity work targeting this issue...For me, people who are HIV+ or AIDS are no different with any of us, especially children..

As I am always close to this matter, I concern about the issue, feel sorry for those infected, and try not to discriminate...[and I would said, Im neutral to this issue so far - being empathy and not discriminate] however..........

I met a good friend of mine back in 2006, while im part-time-ing with Starbucks..lets just call this cute guy Y. he is a lovely guy on my age, speak good English and smart..he is ambitious when I first met him, thats how I feel impressed [not to be mistaken, not love]...perhaps i was so distress that time, that I really need some1 understanding enough for me..and Y is the right person..he is lovely, until now...we dont really know each other well, but the companion counts...and so, we are good friend but we hardly ask about each other private life that much..just companion, movie buddy...but all these moments meant so much for me....

when we both quit Starbucks, we even became closer...good friend...and one day I found out that he likes guys and has a new boyfriend..oh yeah, im freaking shock...but not being bias...well, I think this news actually make us closer..to be honest I always scared to go out with cute guy, coz people might think I look even more ugly besides a cute guy..and I dont understand why woman and man cant be in a pure friendship...and so, I really enjoy going out with Y coz I know he take our friendship genuinely pure....

After his diploma, he went to all kinds of jobs...being so materialistic...and suddenly all his ambitions just gone...I no longer see a designer in him...kind of disappointed, but as long as he is happy...

Today, I met him for another movie...I shared with him that the newspaper called me up for interview next Wednesday..he knows that I always wanted to be a journalist, just like I know how much he wants others to appreciate his design..in exchange with my good news, he told me he is HIV+........................a big pause from me....

I understand what HIV+ means because I am so into this issue, but why him????he is my age..I feel so uncertain, that I gave him funny comfort sentences....and I do understand how difficult life is going to be or him down the road..I met many HIV+ patients during my volunteer job last time..I know how they suffer..I am so freak out when I put Y in the situation...I dont know, it just freaking me out...but the sad part was he told me that "well Yuki, I am accepting this as fact..we do not choose this to happen, I am just the unlucky one" this really make me sad...well, I understand HIV+ and AIDS is not a choice for some patients, but I think he should take up the responsibility too for being....you know, many different partners....that moment I feel that he is a total stranger...where is the ambitious Y that I met before???Im so sad that I loose him..I understand that he doesnt choose for this, but I really hope that through this he can be able to look back and see his mistakes....I love him so much that he a brother of mine...and I know that the HIV+ will not kill him spiritually, but will just make him stronger...

life is unpredictable....We never know what is God planning for us...and make no regrets, love yourself and love yourself for your family.....

"Oh Father Lord, may You forgive all the wrong steps and decisions that he made, lead him back to Your side as I know God, You love him so much....In Jesus' name, Amen"

Not really a Happy New Year...

The year of the Tiger does not seem to bring me any happiness...

Not a proper family reunion dinner, not a proper family gathering, does not bring any smile or laugh on the face and no proper friend gathering...

So, what is the purpose of having New Year celebration?

Sunny in the morning, suddenly storm in the evening

What a hot and sunny morning..Feeling lazy walking to campus..little did I know that the storm is coming to my way......

Finished my last paper for this term this morning. Finally, I thought. I will start my industrial training tomorrow at a local English newspaper as their trainee reporter, kind of excited. Really couldn't wait for tomorrow. Even thought deep down in my heart I'm really fear stepping in the writing desk again. I wish I can do better than last time.

After my exam, I walked alone in the mall without any direction. Don't feel like going to cinema, don't feel like visiting any friends...just keep walking. Really hard to describe the feeling. Doubtful and lost.

Reached home, i did nothing..just turned on my lappy and watched some Hong Kong series which I had watched for thousand times. Browsing my FB, and a familiar name pop up. Like usual, I tried to keyed in his name, hoping to know how he is doing. "In relationship with xxx" this status caught my eye. Suddenly feel like storming outside my room go straight into my heart. -Heartbreaking- I bet he is doing really well over there. Well, shame on me. I couldn't find a reason to keep me going. I'm just doing what I should do for the past one year. I realised I no longer dream to go to any ends.

Life is tough, that's why we are human. I should really start looking forward my life, looking forward how to make my life fills with colours and not just Black-White movie. Starting my reporting life tomorrow should be a brand new start. Even though I know it is not easy to be a journalist [with my quality] but I will try hard to reach what I have been aiming.

"When you've found a reason to walk away, never look back... Just keep walking. It's better to get lost moving on than to get stuck and stranded broken."