Sickness during Exam Period: A Little Girl in Middle of World
My final exam will be around corner again. As usual, I will feel uncomfortable, stressing, headache and sometime fever. Wonder why all these illness will accompany me before exam. During this period as well, I will think much more unnecessary stuffs.. Will feel much more lonely than usual time, much more fear to future than usual time.. Not sure whether other students will feel the same. Maybe I am giving too much pressure to myself or perhaps I am scared to be loser. I am trying hard to please people around me, but still not much different. People around me might think I am strong, I am tough enough to handle things, but in fact, they are all wrong. In spite, I am gal that need help most of the time but could not get help from anyone. I am weak that sometime need shoulder to cry on and need hand to pull me up but non willing to do so. I am gal that need attention and companion, but seem hardly get along with people around me. I am gal seeking for peaceful and simple life, but my life seem storming and difficult… For me life seem playing a big game with a little girl that make the girl lost psychologically. Sometime, I might think I am weird creature in world that I could not even manage myself probably. Everything seems a mess in my world. I wanted people to know what am I thinking, but when I speak it out, things seems to be different make me more miserable. Perhaps I really have to learn not to let other people to hold my Key of Happiness. Should not hope for people love that much and accept what God created for me. I dreamt to be happy housewife in future, but God told me no, I have to study hard to be professional. I wanted to rely on people even a small thing because I do not want to be strong, but God told me no, you have to do it by yourself. I wanted to be selfish in some matter, but God said no, saying that I am not living alone in the world. I do not want to take note on things around me, but God let me see clearly my responsibility. I wanted to drag myself in wonder world, but God drag me back to reality. I wanted to give up, but God sent me angels to hold me on track.
Sometime, feel really funny that I could not identified myself. I am not sure whether I am childish thinking or mature. Whether I am in right track or not, whether should go or left, whether should do or not. Life have too much of things to consider. Those who are strong to go through will success. Those who are weak will lost their track and be follower. While me, is going to be in middle of these two options. I do not want to be follower but on the other hand, I do not want to be strong as well.
My final exam will be around corner again. As usual, I will feel uncomfortable, stressing, headache and sometime fever. Wonder why all these illness will accompany me before exam. During this period as well, I will think much more unnecessary stuffs.. Will feel much more lonely than usual time, much more fear to future than usual time.. Not sure whether other students will feel the same. Maybe I am giving too much pressure to myself or perhaps I am scared to be loser. I am trying hard to please people around me, but still not much different. People around me might think I am strong, I am tough enough to handle things, but in fact, they are all wrong. In spite, I am gal that need help most of the time but could not get help from anyone. I am weak that sometime need shoulder to cry on and need hand to pull me up but non willing to do so. I am gal that need attention and companion, but seem hardly get along with people around me. I am gal seeking for peaceful and simple life, but my life seem storming and difficult… For me life seem playing a big game with a little girl that make the girl lost psychologically. Sometime, I might think I am weird creature in world that I could not even manage myself probably. Everything seems a mess in my world. I wanted people to know what am I thinking, but when I speak it out, things seems to be different make me more miserable. Perhaps I really have to learn not to let other people to hold my Key of Happiness. Should not hope for people love that much and accept what God created for me. I dreamt to be happy housewife in future, but God told me no, I have to study hard to be professional. I wanted to rely on people even a small thing because I do not want to be strong, but God told me no, you have to do it by yourself. I wanted to be selfish in some matter, but God said no, saying that I am not living alone in the world. I do not want to take note on things around me, but God let me see clearly my responsibility. I wanted to drag myself in wonder world, but God drag me back to reality. I wanted to give up, but God sent me angels to hold me on track.
Sometime, feel really funny that I could not identified myself. I am not sure whether I am childish thinking or mature. Whether I am in right track or not, whether should go or left, whether should do or not. Life have too much of things to consider. Those who are strong to go through will success. Those who are weak will lost their track and be follower. While me, is going to be in middle of these two options. I do not want to be follower but on the other hand, I do not want to be strong as well.
The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do, the hard part is doing it.
Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf
1 comment:
Thought this may cheer you up...
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low but the debts are high,
& you want to smile but you have to cry,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must but don't you quit.
Life can be queer with it's twists &turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure comes about,
when you could well win if you stick it out,
So don't give up cause the pace is slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you can never tell how close you are,
It may near soon when it seems so far,
So don't give up when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worse that you must not quit.
♥
Post a Comment