Am I not convincing?

**Note: This post was written yesterday, Jan 9, 2011...

Well, hate to admit that, but yeah, I'm actually not a convincing person. Something really bad happened at work today, that I could not hold my tears in newsroom.

I went to an assignment in the afternoon, and came back with a front page story. after checking to a local news wire (BERNAMA), my OC1 (chief operator - reporters are supposed to report to this person after they came back from their assignment. OC is the daily big boss. we might not have the same OC everyday) called me up.

She told me that whatever I written in my story was not mentioned in the BERNAMA's story. (F*** her, I bet she did not know what is exclusive). And being a really "good" reporter, I explained to her that the BERNAMA's reporter, in fact many reporters were not aware of the issue and decided not to write about it (most of them were blurred when the reporter from another Malay media who broke the issue last Monday - Jan 3, asked about the issue). And so, she was convinced and I got back to my place. Not even 10 minutes, this lady called me up again and told me "you know what,your story is not complete. Go and get a copy of the story from BH (BH is our sister paper in Malay language - initially, the reporter from BH was the one broke the issue)". I was like, "WHAT!!!???? Are you trying to tell me that I'm writing lies in my story and you don't trust your own reporter?????" Well, again as a very obedient reporter, I went up to another floor and get the story from the reporter. And now, the whole BH knows that Im alousy reporter, reason being - my boss was asking me to get my own story from another media...yeah great...

Best part is, when the boss read the story, she told me..."you see, the other media has added in the background, and I didnt. you cant give this story to be a front page". and I was like, F*** you, how am I supposed to know that this is going to be a front page story babe if you didnt tell me??? also, if you just need a background of it -- well, no background for this story actually, it was a new system which is still under discussion....