Media World, No Kidding

When I was 14 years old, I dreamt that media world was such a paradise. There are plenty of spaces for me to be improving in term of knowledge. When I chosen to study in Mass Communication and gamble my future in this popular course, with high competitive scale and low chances given, I trusted that whenever there is a will, there is always a way. Media world seem better than the previous paradise that I had set in 14 years old.

First term in the college, fantastic media world seem getting nearer to me. The media jargons seem interesting and the curiosity in the media world seem raised to the peak on the hill in the first few weeks of the term. However, things turn upside down when my curiosity does not answer, or perhaps it does but I could not capture. Media world now seem much difficult compared doing experiment in the lab. The jargons turned to nightmare and the paradise seem left me behind. I started to judge my choice, started to felt that I am going to be lost in the gamble.

During my college times, I felt that I am not really can communicate with people. Therefore, I started looked for job that can let me practice my communication skills. Starbucks, a wonderful coffee shop lead me to a more challenging world. First time in my life that I cant felt my confident. Bullied by seniors partners, stuck in middle of politic in the store. All these really make me regret to take up this gamble. However, God strengthen my life and I forced to move forward and not give up.

With other part time jobs, I kept myself busy the whole weeks. I started enjoyed being alone: alone in cinema, alone in bookshops and alone in coffee shops. Sometime just felt that I became anti-social person after joining media world. Media person with bad social attitude sounds funny. Somehow, all these make me realized media world actually not that wonderful. Even though not wonderful, but I do not want to give up.

A big change in me was clear showed, but not many of my friends understand. After two years in the college, I finally finished my final paper. Two years struggling in college and working places with bad relation with friends finally came to the end, I thought.

Confuse and lost appeared again when I do not know where to go after graduate. Do not feel to stay in that college anymore. Perhaps, I felt to leave this place, a place that too many familiar faces. I started looked for jobs in oversea, and of course locally. Planned to save as much money as I can, so that I can pursuit my dream in oversea.

During the period where I was busy preparing my final exam, God already prepared everything for me. I got an offer job in a magazine company as journalist. I felt excited and grateful. I even gave up the opportunity to go to United Kingdom, my dream country to study. I believed in this small magazine company I can learn things that might useful for my future. Even my mum keep telling me to go to United Kingdom and stay with my cousin, still I chosen to be a junior journalist here. As for me, United Kingdom will not sink. There will be chances for me to step in the country in future.

After decided to stay in this heartless city, I set a timeline for myself. 1 – 2 years working in the magazine company and save as much as I can, then further my study in Australia. Seem a fantastic plan. After the final exam, I went back to my hometown and have my rest. I also quit all my part time jobs, as I want to concentrate in the magazine job. However, I remain as part time barista in Starbucks because I already felt in love with the store.

The first week in the company, I really felt excited. Went to the first press conference in my life and realized how “real” the media world. Disappointment occurred in me. Somehow, I do not want to give up. My editor gave me strength as I thought he is understanding person. Under his guide, I learned lots about the media and business world. Felt a bit grateful and I promised myself that I will work hard in order to help my editor.

Somehow, the second week turns a bit different. Not sure how, but I felt useless in the company. Even I am the only journalist in the company, but my job is so easy. Do not feel the excitement being journalist. This is all because I do not have strong grammar skills. This actually makes my editor a bit piss off. This makes me feel bad actually. Again, makes my confident thinner.

My feeling get worst when my news report had been changed almost 80%. Just wonder is it still accurate to put ‘by Yuki Ling’ in the news report. This leads me to a bad emotion again. Feeling to be alone in cinema suddenly occurred. Working in Starbucks that weekend makes me a bit release. The book fair makes me better as well, and ‘Pirates of Caribbean 3’ make me even better.

Even tough it will be a difficult time for me in this company, but I will not give up as I never give up completing my Mass Communication course. Hopefully through the company, I can improve my English skills and learn more about the media world. After joining the company, I started feel the media world is not that fantastic as I thought when I was 14 years old. Somehow, I will try my best to be the best in the media as it is still a challenging job for me.