Happiness is a choice

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, In all the ways you can, in all the places you can, At all the time you can, to all the people you can, As long as you ever can.

John Wesley

I doubt these phases are true.

I used to think the world will be beautiful as long as I am a positive thinker. Well, I doubt that as well. I became a weird thinker instead. I realized that I’m that kind of people who wanted to have a good relationship with every one in this world. I’m pushing myself to be HOLY, which I think is quite impossible. Turn up, everything became totally out of control now. Lost my dignity, lost my dream, lost my friends, lost my confident, lost almost everything. I realised that actually I can’t treat everyone equally fair and good. Well, perhaps I can, but hey Yuki, people out there will not appreciate it. Or, I’m not doing good enough for them.

Life seem difficult, but I keep telling myself “This world is beautiful”. No one will say this to me. So, I said it to myself and tell people around me “Hey, even life is difficult, but this world is beautiful”. Because I know it is a very short but a comfortable statement. But now for these few weeks. Things around me seem leaving me behind and moved away from me.

My so called first love, hope that we don’t meet for a while. My family, well, they don’t know much about me because I don’t want to add any extra burdens for my mum. A BIG gap between my so-called best friends. For those normal friends, well, what can you expect from an ordinary friend? Wanted to get some release from my part time job, but ended up it turn to be a nightmare. My position in magazine company seems doesn’t allow me to continue the part time job. I tried not to affect my journalist job, so trying hard to solve all the problems. However, life is really difficult. My boss trying to get every single little mistake from my works to prove that the part time job did affect my work in the company. I really tried to be your best journalist, really I did. I even changed my clothing, changed my hairstyle, changed my interest to love in property to fit the company. Perhaps, I still not good enough, but I tried. Just give me some support and please trust me.

People said happiness is your choice, but hey, we are not living in an island alone. People around us did give us big impact. Well, people out there, Yuki is just a normal person, who need courage to move forward, will have emotion when stress filled up my mind, can’t please everyone in the world, most importantly Yuki hate waiting and Yuki hate to be alone…